Over 99730

Date Demotivational Poster

GENESIS - Facebook version.

TAGS: god facebook adam eve garden eden satan apple status update
Rating: 4.2/5

More motifakes by Paul Kondor Poduszlo

aesop's folly - November 8, 2009, 6:32 pm
charming, 4/5 cause it isnt origa***
Informator - August 25, 2009, 8:00 am
WIN :D 5 lions
Mooooooooooooooooooo - August 24, 2009, 2:54 am
Except that stuff aboot coveting a**...I'm all aboot coveting a**.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - August 24, 2009, 2:54 am
Crazy? you'd have to be straight up Retarded to believe anything Christianity has to say.
TheTrashHeap - August 24, 2009, 2:52 am
Well of course not! That would just be Crazy!
Paul Kondor Poduszlo - August 24, 2009, 2:49 am
For the record I don't believe everything here; especially that fake dinosaur fossils part.
TheTrashHeap - August 24, 2009, 2:26 am
Fake dinosaur fossils for the crazy christians who believe that they were put there to test their faith! rotfl! Thats awesome. Nice jab at jesus!
Ed-Hyde - August 5, 2009, 11:03 am
I don't care what religion you are, thats just funny.


DATE NIGHT - "Hey, honey! Great news! We can still go to the Olive Garden! I found us a baby-sitter!"

TAGS: date night baby sitter wtf
Rating: 4.25/5

More motifakes by rulerofmanandape

MindBenda - April 15, 2012, 2:33 pm
Seems legit.


TAGS: rapture updates
Rating: 4.7/5

More motifakes by Airman

Master - May 28, 2011, 10:05 am
What if it's the thirty-second, and May is still here?
justme - May 27, 2011, 9:29 am
im still thinking the world will end on the 30th of february
rerun - May 26, 2011, 7:29 pm

The one that has Tuesday in it.
alldayfighter - May 26, 2011, 7:18 pm
hell yeah but which year???

2012 -

1st Date Epic Fail -


TAGS: face book facebook status update
Rating: 4.5/5

More motifakes by the1stCOMMI3

rerun - August 25, 2011, 8:56 pm

I did read it, sadly you will not be missed
the1stCOMMI3 - August 25, 2011, 6:10 pm
i'm sorry, how is it that your username even passed the registration?
FuuuckYou - August 25, 2011, 6:03 pm
Hey, sorry about that.. but do you think you could read my name to yourself?
FuuuckYou - August 25, 2011, 6:02 pm
Dood, I f***ing swear you get all of your **** from the Android Market's Funny Jokes app. GTFO HOE.
falloutghoul - August 24, 2011, 6:46 pm
Would've been better if you used Twitter, but still funny.
sidestep22 - August 24, 2011, 12:25 pm
Wow! So wrong and impressive all at the same time.. 5Ls


TAGS: blind dates h** tub mustache redneck
Rating: 2.64/5

More motifakes by prosti82

Derek - December 8, 2009, 4:05 pm
You know he's filled a tub with it...

MY DAUGHTERS DATE - Suddenly I Miss The Days She Liked Justin Bieber

TAGS: date daughter youth
Rating: 4.96/5

More motifakes by rerun

thecrotchetyoldcynic - July 10, 2013, 11:52 pm
You could really end that whole fad by merely playing with a pliers near their person. Or play with *license only* magnets. Oooh, the screams that will slice through the air. My daughter has nothing to fear.
twill1962 - June 17, 2012, 10:41 am
twill1962 - June 17, 2012, 10:41 am
To quote the Red Dwarf books, "I wish I had a daughter, just so I could frobid her to marry him."



TAGS: newspaper dress date wrong read
Rating: 4.84/5

More motifakes by almarpa

almarpa - August 21, 2010, 4:42 pm
Thank you folks. I am trying to improve although is dificult
spacedog - August 20, 2010, 6:05 pm
Good one almarpa. 5L (no I'm just reading the b00bs... I mean news.)
Faceplant31 - August 20, 2010, 10:33 am
Beautiful! Now this is a d*** good and funny fake! 5L alpaca


TAGS: love death freak calendar date
Rating: 4.57/5

More motifakes by caveman

Verdeckt - October 10, 2011, 4:05 pm
no 5ign of parole

BLIND DATE - It will only take you so far.


TAGS: daughter will not date until she s 30
Rating: 3.13/5

More motifakes by R.S.Jake

R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 12:37 pm
Ah OK then. Probably not him. He said he's going to beauty school.
thatonechick - December 15, 2009, 12:34 pm
Probably not; this one never made claims of going to school. ;)
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 12:32 pm
OMG! Hippie on the couch! I love it! Wait, it's not my brother is it? d***it! He said he was going back to school! :)
thatonechick - December 15, 2009, 12:29 pm
Seriously! I have a hippie on my couch at this very moment. (He's cool, though. LoL)
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 12:29 pm
*her* not *them*
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 12:27 pm
Yeah, how do I make them be distrustful of wierd guys on the street when my friends are much wierder? "Don't trust the guy in the van with the candy" But Uncle Dave in the Pinto is fine?
thatonechick - December 15, 2009, 12:24 pm
I'm in the same boat. :/ Everyone is their new friend! Not good...
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 12:22 pm
And know her, she'd go right up to him and hug him. She hugs everyone. It's cute now, but I have GOT to find a way to make her not want to but not fear everyone too. I have my work cut out for me. :)
thatonechick - December 15, 2009, 12:09 pm
Since they're 2 and 3, hopefully I've got awhile before I get to worry about where they've been... :S Oh, gawd, Damien just saw the picture. "Lookit that girl! It's a baby!" LoL At least he got it right.
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 12:04 pm
Ha! Ok, awesome! Thanks!
thatonechick - December 15, 2009, 11:56 am
Jake, if she ever brings one of my sons home, you have permission to use any and all scare tactics. XD
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 11:35 am
My avatar Porcelina? Thaks, it's a tatoo design I want to get but my wife says she doesn't want me to get a tattoo that will "stare" at her.
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 11:33 am
And besides, if she brings home girls, at least I will have fodder for my video collection! Oh god I'm sorry, that was bad!
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 11:32 am
Oh God, I know I'm going to hate her teen years!
Porcelina - December 15, 2009, 11:29 am
Your avatar is so badass
Airman - December 15, 2009, 11:29 am
speaking from experience, wait till she's 16 and looks at you like you are the single biggest idiot on earth.
Narutarded - December 15, 2009, 11:27 am
And they're softer, too...
Porcelina - December 15, 2009, 11:24 am
Not sure, every girlfriend I've ever had was nuts, or a s**t... or both. girls and boys are equally f***ed up, it's just that girls are typically more fun
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 11:13 am
I wouldn't mind a bit. Girls aren't as mentally damaged as boys...for the most part
Narutarded - December 15, 2009, 10:24 am
Don't worry, Jake. I can tell by the look in her eye she won't be bringing BOYS home.;)
GreyScorpion - December 15, 2009, 10:16 am
that's one of his claims to fame
R.S.Jake - December 15, 2009, 10:14 am
*BOOM* Dammit! I was loaded with bucksh**. I should have loaded something that scattered more. LD's quick, I'll give him that!
Faceplant31 - December 15, 2009, 9:53 am
ROR!! I hope you run in a zig zag serpentine motion LD!
LogicDude - December 15, 2009, 9:38 am
Oh she's thinking about them alright...you can tell when she has her pacifier in her mouth and she gets that glazed look in her eyes...hey, HEY! Put the gun down Jake - I was just joking dammit!!! *runs*

VALENTINES DAY DINNER - It's a special occasion, go ahead and super size.

NEVER AGAIN - You said a double date would be "fun". I'm not having fun, Alicia!

TIPS FOR DATING - Man whose only goal is to round the bases will always strike out


NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION - Remember to put "2012" and not "2011" on every place I write the date on

TAGS: pen date new year resolution
Rating: 4.58/5

More motifakes by Sho

Zetmonk - January 3, 2012, 6:50 am
Already failed at this resolution 4 times today. Bleh.
TheSanityInspector - January 2, 2012, 11:30 pm
So glad I don't write many checks anymore.


POWER PROJECTION - Getting your peeps to pimp out your 102,000 ton super carrier into a kickin' date magnet.


TAGS: ugly date
Rating: 4.36/5

More motifakes by rerun

djrcreative - January 21, 2012, 4:30 am
Oh dear mother of god... ROTFL!

INTERNET DATING - You shouldn't choose your prom dates online...enough said.


TAGS: death date play patience deadline
Rating: 4.92/5

More motifakes by 5150monkeylove

thecrotchetyoldcynic - October 28, 2013, 4:38 pm
I'm almost to the 'other side,' DON'T DENY ME THAT! . . . . . I apologize. . . . I have issues. :-D
thecrotchetyoldcynic - October 28, 2013, 4:36 pm
The way thi5 insane world is? It'll still be a day too late. I tell my wife if I'm working on the car and it falls on me, don't call 911; get the revolver and finish me off. Why call paramedics? Keep me on life support indefinitely? No thanks.

Date -

COMMUNICATION - If men are from mars, and women are from Venus No wonder it’s so hard to stay in a relationship these days. I mean, how many long distance relationships really ever work out

TAGS: mars planet date women men
Rating: 4.5/5

More motifakes by caveman

caveman - July 29, 2011, 9:18 pm
well that's the dream champ
champ99 - July 29, 2011, 5:29 pm
Did I forget to mention it took me 30 years to find the right one? Makes awesome bacon sammiches.
internetninjaII - July 29, 2011, 3:38 pm
you two are obviously the exception to the rule...
forseti - July 29, 2011, 1:21 pm
same with me.
champ99 - July 29, 2011, 11:07 am
Mine worked out! 5stars

THE UNION WANTS A 3RD SHIFT - 2258.42 is sneaking up on us

DATE NIGHT - A nice ride, maybe a little wine and then... I'm makin' love to ewe

TAGS: date nights are for lovers
Rating: 4.21/5

More motifakes by NotoriousGIL

tellitlikeitis - April 14, 2011, 7:50 pm
MilDoc - April 14, 2011, 4:29 pm
That's OK, Tellit...that guy probably likes his animals somewhat active!
tellitlikeitis - April 13, 2011, 11:57 pm
I'm somewhat of an animal activist.... but this one did get me laughing. Cute.
forseti - April 13, 2011, 1:42 pm
you will goat 5 lions from Hawa I guess... ;)
CaptainBaked - April 13, 2011, 1:10 pm

ONLINE DATING - When you finally meet the Bantha Fodder you've been flirting with, Make sure you are the first to shoot.

THE FIRST DATE - Can be a little awkward, if you lied on your e-Harmony profile.

BLIND DATE - I warned you about your weird friend's sense of humor

TAGS: blind date
Rating: 2.82/5

More motifakes by jefslat

first date -

TAGS: bar date kiss
Rating: 4.94/5

More motifakes by Sho

steve1961 - September 6, 2013, 7:16 pm
Sho is not Satan. Satan is in Hell...where he's hiding from Sho.
5150monkeylove - September 6, 2013, 6:13 pm
Hail Sata---I mean Sho.
GaryO - September 5, 2013, 9:03 pm
Heh. Yeah, hammer5.
lgvernon - September 5, 2013, 4:17 pm

Beautiful, Sho!~~5L


TAGS: pick up lines date love
Rating: 4.61/5

More motifakes by caveman

silentexploding - November 6, 2011, 12:31 pm
How much does a polar bear weigh? How much? Enough to break the ice!

BLIND DATES SUCK. - Oh well, since you are here... What's in the heart-shaped box ?

TAGS: blind date
Rating: 4.6/5

More motifakes by SunnyDay

thatonechick - July 27, 2010, 3:02 pm
He'd have to pay extra for that.
GreyScorpion - July 27, 2010, 2:06 pm
naw, just an over her knee, panty down, paddlin' to a nice rose hue
Faceplant31 - July 27, 2010, 1:57 pm
Did he recieve the hammer treatment for TOC's house of pain?
thatonechick - July 27, 2010, 1:38 pm
We have a new bomber on our hands! Everybody welcome... Timmy.
thatonechick - July 26, 2010, 9:16 am
He looks so sad... :(
forseti - July 26, 2010, 8:17 am
very nice... greybeard's dream shattered. 5L ;)

Be Mine (Please) -

COSPLAY - See? We can get dates.

Disney Shoes -

TAGS: disney shoes date psycho
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

thecrotchetyoldcynic - July 5, 2013, 12:34 pm
The one place where wishing upon a star is null and void.
MissPriss - July 5, 2013, 1:48 am
Oooo...where can I get a pair? 5L crotchety.


TAGS: istanbul constantinople date arrest turks
Rating: 4.92/5

More motifakes by agdaniele

agdaniele - November 18, 2010, 9:42 pm
Nobody's business but the Turks!
crankyhead - November 17, 2010, 10:23 am
Even old New York, was once New Amsterdam... why they changed it, I can't say... people just liked it better that way. =)

LIFE’S MYSTERIES - Forget about Stonehenge and the Bermuda triangle. I want someone to figure out how to get to the 3rd date without going on the first 2.

TAGS: third date rule in life
Rating: 4.87/5

More motifakes by caveman

Chrysophase2003 - April 14, 2012, 8:49 pm
A 3rd date from the start? Just stop off at any reputable streetcorner and make sure you've got cash on hand.
Zcorrecttheory - October 10, 2011, 2:25 pm
:D This is where les***** are made!
jedimonk - September 30, 2011, 11:04 am
the deep pause before the deepthroat...
mariand - September 30, 2011, 5:37 am
lol...I'm sure there's a way...but only after you marry her

FAVORABLE ATTENTION - Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.


COURTING - "Wait'll I tell the guys about this chick! She's REALLY into me...I mean, this is only our first date and she's already giving me a hickey!"

TAGS: march challenge courting there will be no second date
Rating: 4.49/5

More motifakes by LogicDude

spacedog - March 1, 2010, 5:40 pm
Heh, that hurts more than it tickles. Beauty LD.

THE REWARDS OF DATING - I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. ~Wendy Liebman


TAGS: sushi first dates
Rating: 4.16/5

More motifakes by AdmiralAckbar

forseti - September 25, 2010, 6:57 am
You guys are really really bad people! It was only one time, I was drunk and the room was pretty dark. They even call it dark room...
AdmiralAckbar - September 24, 2010, 6:00 pm
forseti, they usually become bi after they become your ex
AdmiralAckbar - September 24, 2010, 3:53 pm
Moo, rofl
Mooooooooooooooooooo - September 24, 2010, 8:25 am
I'm sure one of the guys you've dated liked chicks as well........JK!
forseti - September 24, 2010, 2:19 am
Where can I get a bi Ex??
hootizz - September 24, 2010, 1:59 am
This is BRILLIANT..!! a keeper for sure...
Faceplant31 - September 23, 2010, 11:57 pm
Excellent akbar. 5L
agdaniele - September 23, 2010, 11:34 pm
Game on indeed! 5L!




UPDATES - This game needs to get them more often.

Never Forget -

TAGS: for the guys wife birthday forgetfulness important dates remembering quote nash
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

MissPriss - January 16, 2014, 8:31 pm
Oh...you newlyweds!
Oldsod - January 16, 2014, 8:21 pm
I've never forgotten either a birthday or anniversary. Just don't ask me how long I've been married.

I'd like a Date! -


TAGS: first dates
Rating: 4.92/5

More motifakes by BoneCD

fascistfrenchman - December 22, 2011, 5:50 am
"So, you say you're widowed?"


TAGS: emilio speed date momma mia
Rating: 4.89/5

More motifakes by GaryO

ughomer - November 16, 2012, 10:46 pm
GaryO - November 16, 2012, 6:36 pm
Glad ya saw this one, ED…cheers
EmilioDumphque - November 16, 2012, 5:33 pm

Dead Man Talking -

QUICK ON THE TRIGGER - It's hard to get a girlfriend when you have a reputation for always finishing first

TAGS: quick run goal date bad
Rating: 4.73/5

More motifakes by caveman

forseti - January 10, 2012, 5:28 am
It's hard to understand women... If you always finishing last, you won't get one either. o.O

Best Before Dates -

that first world problem -

TAGS: apps phone cellular update first world problems
Rating: 4.67/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

demon001 - July 26, 2014, 12:06 am
akkor végre ideje!
Bolverk3778 - December 17, 2013, 2:51 pm
Only a problem if you have lumbered yourself with a 'Smartphone'.
thecrotchetyoldcynic - December 16, 2013, 12:29 am
Or hutsese.
JesusWept - December 15, 2013, 12:41 pm
Could be worse. Like Klingon or something hehe. L L L L L

Chris Hansen -

Stampeding... tortoises... -

TAGS: stampeding tortoises lumbering path sedate
Rating: 4.28/5

More motifakes by Silverheart

Krickit - April 30, 2013, 9:23 am
This started my morning out right. Hilariou5

E-HARMONY - They say there's a match for every one, they just haven't met Aunt Edna yet

TAGS: blind dates are scarey
Rating: 4.17/5

More motifakes by usaf1995

rerun - May 9, 2010, 9:51 pm

this father/son reunion sponsered by Motifake.com
ICEMAN - May 9, 2010, 9:17 pm
Hi Dad!
Mooooooooooooooooooo - May 9, 2010, 7:57 pm
ICEMAN's Mother.
ICEMAN - May 9, 2010, 4:10 pm
Moooooooooooooooooo's wife.
Zed - May 9, 2010, 11:36 am
What the F*CK IS that thing???


BACK THEN - let's go watch the submarine races still worked

NARUTARDED - Just Turned This Guy Down For A First Date

TAGS: narutarded date broken heart
Rating: 3.5/5

More motifakes by PixieStickNinja

agdaniele - January 11, 2010, 12:01 am
I've gotten that call before!
agdaniele - January 11, 2010, 12:01 am
Bartimaeus - January 11, 2010, 12:00 am
When I found out...Well, it was a foggy day...and my phone rang. I casually said "hello..." and a deep voice replied "Moooooooooo"
Bartimaeus - January 10, 2010, 11:58 pm
Nah, William Hung is our poster child. We're not heartbroken.
agdaniele - January 10, 2010, 11:58 pm
Where were you when you found out? LOL!!!!
agdaniele - January 10, 2010, 11:57 pm
Is this not the posterchild for that October 30 incident?
Bartimaeus - January 10, 2010, 11:54 pm
Perhaps this guy should breath a sigh of relief? MALT is scary.
agdaniele - January 10, 2010, 11:53 pm
I had to approve this... caption aside, it says a thousand words.

Silent Night Revised -

TAGS: updated christmas song parody dark
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

thecrotchetyoldcynic - December 10, 2013, 1:06 am
Lol! Thanks, Sho.
Sho - December 9, 2013, 4:08 pm
Beautiful :')


AFTER THE PROM - I have a big surprize for you!

TAGS: limo date surprize
Rating: 2.81/5

More motifakes by WTF

agdaniele - September 24, 2009, 7:57 pm


TAGS: then when my wife votes for the wrong candidate
Rating: 2.72/5

More motifakes by Haarakkon

Haarakkon - June 14, 2009, 12:01 am
Life+20, no parole. Apparently. Thanks, though. I'm having a regular 1.8 lion day.
Sean - June 13, 2009, 11:52 pm
Hilarious take. Very well done. Good luck in prism ... how long ya in for?
Suffragette - June 13, 2009, 11:26 pm
I bet if voting was verbal the term "suffrage" would still be an unresolved issue. Thank God for quiet polling booths.


TAGS: updated attack of the 50ft woman
Rating: 2.62/5

More motifakes by sickartist

Derek - January 1, 2010, 4:48 pm
Ahh, I'd thought it said she was "ready to cook"

INTERNET DATES - Sometimes they do look just like their pictures.

TAGS: internet date
Rating: 2.13/5

More motifakes by TresGlobos

spacedog - October 27, 2009, 10:44 pm
Hey Bob, I think the pilot in your avatar has blacked out and the droid is gonna puke.
agdaniele - October 27, 2009, 10:43 pm
Would it make a difference?
Bob D. Sailor - October 27, 2009, 10:39 pm
Is she pregnant or just has a huge gunt?

step one -

TAGS: first date
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Reality Lord

EmilioDumphque - May 8, 2015, 12:58 pm
Just tried. Roundly rejected! Thought it might slip by on the Plus Mode side. Nope. But what's been seen can't be unseen.
Reality Lord - May 6, 2015, 8:22 am

...."should"....lol. if you don't send it my way.
EmilioDumphque - May 6, 2015, 3:06 am
I've got a picture of Pat Boone using the box trick! Maybe I should build a motifake from THAT!
mizzdizz - May 5, 2015, 4:28 am
A salt rub is so good for the skin! It gives it that nice healthy freshly scrubbed glow!!!!!
GaryO - May 4, 2015, 7:35 pm
unsalted...must be unsalted
mizzdizz - May 4, 2015, 3:07 pm
LOL! The old extra large popcorn in the movie theatre trick?! LOL! 5L

Honesty -

TAGS: honesty dangerous blind date organ harvest good thing mine is silver
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Silverheart

mizzdizz - March 4, 2015, 4:10 am
Luuuuv this, Silvie!! Mine's black! LOL! 5 goth lions

Remember Me? -

Blind Date -

TAGS: blind date lgvernon s calendar
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

JesusWept - March 4, 2015, 3:57 am
concern3 - March 4, 2015, 2:33 am
funny 5er

bad date -

Faux Pas -

TAGS: date tact women men insult
Rating: 4.6/5

More motifakes by Onegin

Onegin - July 31, 2015, 8:12 am
Thank you very much. That is very kind.
mizzdizz - July 30, 2015, 9:12 pm
Onegin, I think this is very funny! That's EXACTLY the retarded kind of thing a really nervous guy would say when trying to impress a chick he REALLY likes! LOL! Keep plugging! You should see some of my early posters! LAAAAAME!!!!! 5L!!!
Onegin - July 30, 2015, 9:49 am
Because I made it.
GaryO - July 29, 2015, 11:56 pm
yup, no shyt...not getting why this is poster material

Firefox Updates -

TAGS: firefox update browser animals
Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

mizzdizz - February 7, 2015, 2:57 am
I'm still laughing from 'froze'! This 1 is ALSO going in the 'firefox' collection! Luv it! 5L